What Parts of You Need to Die?
Letting Go to Grow
Day of the Dead celebrations in Mexico
I’ve just returned from celebrating Mexican Day of the Dead, in magical San Cristobal de las Casas. It’s a beautiful hilltop town, deep in the lush countryside of Chiapas. A rustic, traditional, chilly place of natural beauty, and the perfect contrast to my hometown on the hot, tropical Caribbean coast where it feels like summer all year round. Travelling somewhere that contrasts so sharply with my everyday reality brings fresh perspective, new stimulation and a motivation for change.
Day of the Dead in Mexico is one of my favourite celebrations, not least because of its similarities with the Celtic Samhain feast also celebrated at this time. Both traditions honour their deceased with offerings and enjoy their closer spiritual presence at this time. They also honour the natural cycle of life and death, be that seasonal, human or otherwise.
Accepting that Everything Has a Life and Death Cycle
These traditions always give me pause for thought at how we can honour these life and death cycles at a more practical level too. The most important message I take away is acceptance. We often resist the end or death of phases in our lives, making them more challenging. However, without winter, spring can’t bring new bloom. And without the end of certain chapters in our lives, we can’t progress into the next one: adulthood, the next job, relationship, home, or life stage based on new, fresh values and wisdom.
This message reflects many coaching conversations I’ve had with clients resisting change. They are afraid of losing a part of themselves through change - until they realise, or circumstances force them to accept, that it is a necessary stage of growth. Just like the trees shedding their leaves in autumn, things may look bare and bleak for a few months of winter until they bloom again in spring - taller than last year.
Coaching Questions to Explore Letting Go to Grow
The following questions are worth your time if you’d like to embrace the end of this season, to welcome in growth next season.
What parts of you need to die for you to grow stronger?
What outdated ideas and limiting beliefs can you let go of?
What relationships that are no longer serving you can you release?
What guilt, anger, resentment can you let fade away?
What ghosts from the past can lay to rest?
What parts of you do you want to resuscitate, bring back to life? What’s stopping you?
How can you honour (grieve) the old, to welcome the new?
If you don't love it, or it's not serving you; if it's not healthy, or if it's draining you; if there's a better way, or if it's holding you back; if it doesn't feel positive or peaceful or worth it - don't waste another season on it. Let it go, let it die, grieve it and honour it, so something new can grow in its place.
Now is the perfect time to ask yourself ‘What are you ready to let go of?’ and ‘What are you looking forward to growing in its place?’.
If you’re stuck or curious about letting go to grow, let's chat on a discovery call to explore your needs and the coaching support I offer.
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Training on letting go and moving on is also included in Version 2.0 of my 1:1 assertiveness coaching course Potent Presence - now open for enrollment. Learn more or book a discovery call.
Siobhán Gallagher is a coach, educator and writer working at the intersection between communication, career and wellbeing. Join her mailing list or book a discovery call to learn more about her services. Connect at siobhangallagher.co, LinkedIn and Instagram.